You see, I was really minding my own business.

I do not stand in the middle of the road. I take my position naturally at the side, keeping out of the way of you folks walking by. You can’t say I am intruding into your space.

Has it bothered you to think, as you hop and curse when the tip of my head sinks into your toe, that 1) it is you who kicked on me, 2) I was not in your way, and 3) it does actually hurt, okay?

Have you not already learned that it is hard to kick against me? I mean, come on, why would you aim for something as sharp and as hard as I am to kick at? Wouldn’t it be more comfortable, and fun even, to kick something soft? Sometimes, my friend the rock, we both just don’t get you guys.

I know you are angry. None of my business whatever set you off. You then come along and send your exposed toe towards my head. Then you curse and scream at the pain you are accusing me of inflicting on you. Well, hello, is it not you who have used me to inflict pain on yourself?

I hear you guys insulting one another by calling them what you would call me. Oh, come on already. First you violated my space, you hurt me, and you use my name as an insult to the very bane of your own retarded lack of emotional self control? Please.

Now whoa whoa whoa. Do you look at where you are going? You are walking from over there, and I have standing over here for a very long time already. Look where you’re going. Hey hey! Argh that hurt! Stop cursing at me.